Life Journal

London 06/08/1990 Monday – 19th Birthday

London 06/08/1990 Monday – 19th Birthday

London 06/08/1990 Monday – 19th Birthday

It’s been a while, let me try and recount the events of the last 13 days.

On the 25th I was back in the restaurant, but hating it. Can’t remember what happened in the next two days. On Friday I arranged with Patrick to go to Peixe’s Capoeira class, but he didn’t turn up, so after the class I went to Seven Sisters. It was Teresa’s leaving party, she’s an Irish girl. I was smoking while everyone kept pestering me, asking where Patrick was. He turned up at 1, completely wasted. He was apologetic but I didn’t take much notice, which was stupid of me, as he passed out and I couldn’t get him up. I ended up talking to Sean, another Irish guy until 5:30. I tried to wake him up for the 50th time, this time for him to go to work and he finally woke up. I was half asleep at work on Saturday. At around 1 Patrick turned up and got some food at the restaurant and soon after my mum turned up. We came to my house, and we were so tired we couldn’t sleep at first but then slept until 6. We had arranged to visit Letitia but when we got there she was out! I nearly died, Patrick nearly killed me!

We met one of Patrick’s friends in a pub in Holloway Road, then we went to a really shitty Irish party and finished at 11. From there Patrick and I went to Camden Palace and danced until 3. We went back to Seven Sisters and Patrick got some hash but no one had any papers. So Patrick said he was going to look for some at a party on the next block and I went with him. We got stuck in the lift! We tried everything to open the door, but no luck. So we rang the bell and waited for 15 minutes until someone told us the fire brigade were coming to get us. That lift is bomb proof, honestly, can’t break out of it. We were only a little bit off the floor! We ate some of the hash and got really dizzy, but maybe that was the lack of fresh air. It took the firemen 15 minutes to open the damned door! We went to sleep after that as it was 5:30 when we got out.

On Sunday we came here and slept all afternoon. My mum arrived and started complaining. We left here at 9 and talked outside until midnight. How we talked! But I wanted to stay home and he went back to Seven Sisters.

On Tuesday evening I went to visit Letitia and asked if she had a job in her shop, and she gave me a bike! On Weds I called her in the shop and she said for me to go in on Thursday morning, to work. So I went. I didn’t even hand in my notice at the restaurant, I was so fed up with it. It’s a clothes shop, and I worked from 10-6 and earned £20. Easy money, but boring at times.

Letitia, outside 'Desire' on Portobello Rd.

When I got home Patrick called, asking me to go meet him at a pub. Had shower, got a taxi and went. He was there with a friend from work and VERY VERY DRUNK. I had a drink or two and then we went home… We were lying on some grass in front of the block of flats and Patrick passed out. I spent ages trying to wake him up and NOTHING. I got annoyed and decided to go and get some help. Then a black guy starts following me and asking why I had left him there. I said I couldn’t wake him up. The guy asked me to go ‘there’ with him so we could ‘have a chat’. I decided to go back to try and wake Patrick up. He was more awake then and kept kissing me and laughing… Then another black guy turns up, he was enormous and he started shouting at us, telling us to go, saying he didn’t want anyone on his turf. He told me to go back to my country and called me a stupid bitch as we started to walk away. I didn’t even flinch, but that kinda woke Patrick up. He turned around and said “What did you say?”. Well that resulted in another 20 minutes of arguing. Me and drunk Patrick arguing with the two coked up idiots. I swear they must have been on coke, or speed. The huge guy wanted to hit me because I said he was rude. At one point Patrick was between us two because I became so outraged I wanted to hit the bastard.

Then the idiot started saying he was a policeman and he was going to arrest us, that I’m a refugee and that I’m here illegally. Then he said I had two weeks to leave Seven Sisters or else… Another guy turns up and things were starting to look scary and I told Patrick we needed to go as you can’t reason with people when they think like that. I started to leave, but Patrick stayed. I was shaking and really angry. I wanted to beat them all up. I couldn’t leave Patrick there, so I stayed while Patrick talked to them… The guy who wanted to beat me up started apologising, and that made me even angrier. How can I accept an apology for something unforgivable? It made no sense for him to apologise after what he said. I couldn’t accept it. At this point the situation seemed diffused, so I left crying. I ended up at the Brazilian squat. Patrick arrived a while later saying he’d been looking for me everywhere. He was saying I had abandoned him with those 3 wankers, on his own. I couldn’t believe he was saying that. First of all, he was the one who passed out in the park, who wouldn’t wake up. Second I kept telling him to leave but he wanted to stay and finish the argument at all costs.

In the end I called him ‘my hero’ and he said I was courageous. Well, I suppose I was but if they were going to hit someone it would have been him. Actually I think they would have attacked me too with no remorse… We felt ok in the end as we didn’t take any shit from those bullies. And so we slept very soundly after making love!

On Weds Patrick slept here, my mum didn’t have a clue. We got in and she was sleeping, he left for work and she was sleeping!

On Friday Patrick and I arranged to meet at 8, at the launderette. But he wasn’t there. As this was the second time he didn’t show up to something so I decided to go out with Felipe and Wagner, to Bar Escobar in South Kensington. We stayed there until closing time and got back at midnight to Seven Sisters. We got back and everyone was sitting outside the pub, all the Irish posse, including Patrick. It was funny. At midnight all those men sang happy birthday to me. I was 19 years old! I went to work on Saturday morning. Letitia wasn’t at work on Friday because Rob beat her up very badly on Thursday and I only found out on Saturday. How I hate Rob. He is sick and disgusting. Patrick came to the shop and finally met Letitia, we all went for a drink after work. Patrick bought champagne for my birthday and I opened it. We went to Seven Sisters but Letitia didn’t want to go. I slept on the tube as I was very drunk but felt more awake when we arrived.

Felipe was throwing a party for me but it was a bit lame. So at 1am Patrick and I went to Camden Palace but decided not to pay just to be there for an hour. We went to the Electric Ballroom but no one could go in anymore. So we went back to Seven Sisters… The party had survived and was still going! James gave me an acid as my birthday present. I only took half. Everyone else took acid too! In the end me, Patrick, Robinson, Denise, James, Felipe and two Irish guys were sat outside on the grass until 6am. I felt different and so happy. I couldn’t stop laughing with Patrick. I never laughed so much. We went to bed but only managed to sleep at 9, until 3. Got up, got food and had a spliff with Denise. I took the other half of the acid and stayed in bed with Patrick until 8. We went to visit Letitia and she cooked spaghetti bolognese. Because she’s moving she gave us both lots of clothes, from the shop. We missed the last tube and got a taxi home for £15. It took me two hours to fall asleep! Still don’t feel quite normal.

I’m only working again on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I’m still in training. When I’m finished they will let me work full-time. The clothes shop is on Portobello Road and it’s called Desire.

Patrick and Letitia

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