London 04/01/1990 Thursday
Yesterday the papers arrived. Then I realised it was a trap. They pay £4.02 for 210 papers+publicity leaflets, and there were 4 streets to deliver them to: Rosa Alba, Northolme (mine), Aurdilan and Sotheby. 210 houses. I started at 10:30 on Rosa Alba, when I was walking down Aurdilan I bumped into David, he helped distribute some of the papers and said he’d come over later. I then delivered 10 papers on my street and came home. There was still ½ to go and it had been ½ hour. I decided not to do the delivery anymore, they pay peanuts for too much work! My mother understood that they paid £6.45, she’s such a fool. She’s going to ring them. I knew it was too good to be true… So that was that.
David came over at around 1 and me, my mum and him were talking. Then my mum said she was going out but wouldn’t leave us on our own and then said she doesn’t want him here when she’s out. She’s so archaic. David had no choice but to leave.
He came here this morning and told me his 28 year old cousin had killed himself because his wife left him. He turned the exhaust into the car, rolled the windows up and died. David seemed to be in shock – I asked him to come back later as I had to go to Holloway Road with my mum.
I got my ‘pocket money’ at Holloway, £10, what a joke, picked some photos up from New Year’s Eve, and went to the launderette to wash clothes. My mum said that she saw David yesterday, walking with a blond, with arms locked. I was really angry but had to pretend didn’t care because my mum doesn’t know we are seeing each other. I decided to have a massive go at him, dead cousin or not. It’s not that I’m jealous, but I’m not an idiot! David arrived showing a photo of his cousin, wife and son. I asked him to come in, but he didn’t want to (because of my mothers orders), but he came in eventually.
First of all I was very icy, he asked if I had found another boyfriend, and I said he was the one who had another girlfriend. I told him what my mum said and he looked all relieved and happy: “So that’s why you are acting like this?” and then he said what I thought he would say, that she’s a friend, nothing to worry about, etc. I told him I wasn’t worried at all, not one bit. He pulled a face that made me feel sorry for him and gave me a hug and we stayed like that for a while. I realised he must have been quite sad about his cousin and left it at that. If she’s a friend or more it’s impossible for me to know right now…
The worst part about this was that before I met him I was a bit upset at the thought of it all ending, I think he’s growing on me. He left to be with his family.