BSB 02/12/1986 Tuesday
Last night I smoked a spliff. I never described how it feels before, but 90% of young people know what it feels like anyhow as it’s fashionable to smoke, which isn’t so bad, the worse is that cocaine and heroin are a taking hold of the dissatisfied youth, and there are so many people like that. I was talking to Gino and Fernando and they said that by next year of lot of people we know will be dead.
So, this is what happened last night: Myself, Alexandra and Renata went to 205 and everyone was there. Ginho, Gino and Ro went to smoke and invited us, but neither myself nor Renata wanted to go, so we didn’t go.
So we stayed there, doing nothing, with Coxem and Pedro. We were bored. Then Coxem said that if we wanted Buldogue could make a spliff at 206 for us. By then I was up for it, Alexandra, Coxem and Pedro all went to 206. Renata chickenshit went home. We got there, some more people turned up. In the end in were in a circle of seven people, we couldn’t have been more obviously smoking weed if we tried, might as well have put up a flag. I was the last person in the circle. The spliff passed three times, I inhaled about nine times and it hit me real good. When I closed my eyes it felt like I was bending sideways, my back, my legs. Later when I crossed my arms it seemed I was shaking, but not from cold. Every first drag I take I get goosebumps.
The deal with weed is as follows: it is without being, but you know it is. What I mean is it seems you are out of reality, like in a dream, but you know, every now and then you realise you are actually awake.
Before we smoked, while the spliff was being built, I was talking to Coxem, telling him I needed to pee. He said he did too, but it was nervousness. I told him I never get nervous, then he said it might be anxiety, which in the end is the same thing. We went back chatting home, I was tripping! Alexandra and I went to mine and I put Tears for Fears on. I was analysing all the instruments. Alexandra went home and I ate something but I couldn’t taste it, I’d only smoked half an hour earlier!
I laid down and was watching TV and then when I realised it was today. I woke up with a bit of hangover from it. I felt slow, stupid, and my thinking was muddled up. I don’t like those feelings, the side-effects from the green stuff.