Life Journal

BSB 18/09/1987 Saturday

BSB 18/09/1987 Saturday

BSB 18/09/1987 Saturday

Thursday me and Alessandra skipped school and went to Sigma. But the doorman knew me (as I’ve been there twice before and was chatting to him) and wouldn’t let us in. So we went around the back of the college, jumped the fence, walked across the PE courts and as we approached the main building some arsehole asked what we were doing there and asked us to go to the reception. I said I wasn’t a student there and he said that was even worse. We talked to some people and as we had no money to go anywhere we said we wanted to borrow money and that we were going to ask Luciana. One of the guys was nice and he took us to her and we asked her to borrow some money.

We left and waited outside until the break, when we stayed with Alessandra’s gang. Speaking of which, Alessandra and Orlando are seeing each other. We got a lift back with Juca (Ale’s friend). Last time I went to Sigma with Nica and Renata I saw Henrique but we didn’t really talk, there were too many people and we arranged to call each other. So we did call each other a few times and he kept saying he was coming over for us to chat face to face, but he never did. Maybe he thinks I am still in love with him and because in the past he said that one day I would crawl at his feet, he keeps doing this. But I don’t think he’s that silly to do this. I think maybe he just doesn’t want me as a friend anymore. A shame because I like talking to him a lot.

Many people think he’s the love of my life – and I used to be confused and I thought that too – I still talk about him enthusiastically, but now it’s to hide my feelings for Gino. This horrible world we live in taught me that no one, especially the ones we have feelings for, should know how we feel about them. Because people end up using those feelings as a weapon against us. It seems that to love is a crime and those who show their feelings end up being used… Why do humans like to have someone to humiliate? But let it be, the world will belong to those who love, those who know how to love and how to be loved.

%d bloggers like this: